What did I get myself into?

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Yes, that is what I ask myself these days. When I took the transition into social media and writing, I never imagined the hate that came with it. I thought my friends and family would be proud, but I received a bitter reaction from them also. I have always wanted to make others proud of me. That stems from my childhood and a part of me that hadn’t been healed till recently. That’s the nice part about healing is accepting and understanding that I am not perfect and the happiness I seek is within me.  

I hold myself extremely accountable for my actions. I tend to over apologize and overly justify, which is not needed at my age. If it makes me happy and it does no harm to myself and others, why can’t I? We all want our freedom and mine just happens to be this. Being open and honest with my life, by allowing strangers to come along with me on my journey. It’s actually what makes me happy. I have always been called too much. My personality is big for my actual size. I used to want to be something I wasn’t, until I finally learned who I am and who I want to become.  

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I realized that taking my bubbly personality and mixing it with my background in beauty was a sure sign of happiness for me. I loved the thrill of it until, I started getting the horrible comments. I would cry at night over the things people would say about me. I didn’t understand why people would be so mean, I wasn’t doing anything other than being myself. I went into a bit of a depression and feelings of unworthiness came to the surface. Until I had therapy and was asked what makes me happy and my answer was just this, “Being Adorably Goofy, me being me.”

That’s when the light bulb clicked in my head. Those hateful comments weren’t for me, they were actually insecurities of others being pushed onto me. I starting reminding myself of that, every time I saw or heard someone talking negatively about me. The people who truly care are the ones that have accepted me as I am, and love that my personality is shining bright these days. It hasn’t been easy to say the least, but it’s been worth the happiness and the amazing opportunities.  

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I have lost some people along the way, but that’s because I put up boundaries that needed to be drawn. See, after thousands of hate comments, I grew a thicker skin and my humor got better. So, each day was getting easier. I still am fighting the “What did I get myself into” at times, but I can’t go back on my happiness. I won’t go back on the fact I did something most would not do. It takes bravery to stand in front of a camera and be yourself while other watch and judge. Thankfully the only thing I’m judging these days is how my editing is going.  

So, after much debate and hurtful comments from friends and strangers, I’m still going to be my adorably goofy self. I’m not changing to please someone else. I am enough and that is what I say when I look into the mirror each day. I will never live up to the imaginary expectations of others and that’s just fine with me.  

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This Product Came Just in Time

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I am so excitied to be working with BeautyTap! I was happily picked to be apart of the Expert Review Program, which means I test out some of the latest and greatest brands from around the World. I spent the next weeks not using any of my normal brands to really get a feel for this product. When I recieved AZN Labs Afterglow Ampoule it was in a beautiful gold package. My eyes fell in Love!

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I opened it up and it was absoulutly beautifully packaged. My sences were hightened with excitement. I chose to wash my face that night and apply the serum. After two days I saw amazing results faster than any product I have used in the past. Which to be real honest, I needed due to some unexpected stress. The dark circles were getting worse along with the bags really starting to show. So when I say this product is Amazing I mean it. During that week I noticed that I had to use less of the concealer and had a dewy glow to my skin, without all the make-up. I really starting noticing this product and wanting to find out all the information on what all was in it.

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When I started the reseach on this paticular product I was shocked to find out what all was in it. I learned that Afterglow Amploule had an ingredient that was special, it’s called astaxanthin, an antioxidant and anti-inflammatory found in rainwater microalgae. It’s got 6,000 more antioxidants than Vitimin C. That is crazy new to me and so more intriguing. I kept on learning more about this serum that was doing wonders for my skin and it was only one product, not like the others I was using in the past for all my skin issues.

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I realized it had more organic ingredients I understood. Including Licorice root extract which helps to fade the dark spots and brighten the skin. Coffee, believe it or not! That is to help firm and boost collegen production. I am drinking it but also putting in on my face! HA! I love it! It also has sunflower seed oil to make sure it helps all the ingredients absorb in to the skin without leaving it greasy. I could go on and on about this product. It is recommened for early skin care users, because it helps prevent issues that some of us older women are combating right now. I won’t stop using it and I hope you try it too. If you want more information you can click my link to BeatuyTap and we can set you up with your own bottle of magic!

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What did I get myself into?

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For months I sat behind a computer writing my life away during this Pandemic. I really felt locked up as I kind of am due to health issues. I obviously got on TikTok to make an Ad for my company not knowing how addictive it was. I actually thought it was for kids… What started out as me watching people laughing and enjoying themselves turned into me also doing the same. I started making friends on this app and really learning the in’s and out’s of making short fun videos all for pure pleasure.

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Then I started seeing my followers going up. I completely forgot about my Ad for the book. I was enjoying the company and the ability to make new friends. I have made so many in a very short amount of time. See this app to me was a joke, but shortly after I realized how awesome it was for interaction. I was interacting with people I would have never had a chance to meet any other way. As I noticed everyone telling their story, I did the same. That story brought me more friends and people I never had a chance before this to speak with. I forgot about the worries when I get on. I laugh at myself for trying all these dances, that make me feel silly, but I am happy. Who would have thought a silly app could do all that?

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Well, it did because it’s the simple things in life that bring sunshine. I follow people who bring me sunshine as I try and return the favor. I act a fool and laugh at myself. I have helped out people who just needed someone to talk to. I myself found people I felt completely comfortable with to express emotions I wouldn’t tell my own friends. Funny how life can change. I choose to see this as an amazing opportunity to use my voice just like my writing to inspire others that are struggling. I am also struggling like so many others, but all we can do is find the light. For me life is changing fast and I like what’s happening. I enjoy the platform of real people doing their best. We all seem to understand we are in the same storm maybe not the same boat but the pain is there. We as Dreamers, dream of making it a happier place and I believe this is a chance. I am all on board of making a fool of myself to help another laugh through the pain. I need the laugh at times and I get it from TikTok.

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If you would like to get a laugh at some of adorably goofiness, then please sign up and follow me at dr.mermaid1 and other wonderful people on TikTok. You never know who it will bring into your life and what inspiration you will get. I was blessed beyond belief with this App called TikTok and have been presented many opportunities to succeed. With the good will come the bad and I learned really quick to harden up on the comments and not let strangers decide what I will do. That happens at any place so it doesn’t bother me because I’m using it as a self control tool, this time it’s just with thousands of people watching me. Haters will always hate, it’s in their DNA. I hope it brings you as much joy as it does me. These days we need some kind of sunshine and this is the chance! I’m going to roll with this till it’s time to move along. I hope you find the joy and do something that brings you light especially during this time. TikTok you just don’t stop!

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When the World Knows

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I changed my future all by sharing a chapter of my life. That is the easiest way to put it. I never realized my full potential until I opened up about some of the most deepest skeletons in my closet. I set a fire to my life but not the kind that has always burned in the past. This is a feeling that I have never experienced before. It is an extremely scary, freeing, and exciting round of feelings along with emotions. The once lost girl who didn’t know how to use her voice, finally used it without saying anything. I poured a chapter of my life onto a 60 second video that went viral. So…. Viral it opened up an opportunity for me.

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It opened up a platform for me to use my voice as a Domestic Violence Warrior. I never in my life thought my actual past would benefit my future. I watched as the comments rolled in, some good, some bad, and all of them determined by my reaction. My reaction was shocked and nervous. I was getting messages telling me I was an inspiration, that my story was so common for others, and that my story helped give others hope. HOPE is something I never imagined in my life, would be a description of me. With the good does come the bad. I received after that very hateful attention. The kind that makes you want to hide in a hole and cry. I wouldn’t have put it out there if it wasn’t real so it did hurt. I had to overcome the anxiety and fear to stand strong. Proving again, the once weak girl is a champion at life.

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I never thought this adorably goofy girl would end up having an opportunity in helping thousands of people overcome the realest of hidden secrets, ABUSE. The realer I am, the more people seem to flock to me. I have become a open book, to help others. I might not have all my ducks in a row, but I do know a few tricks to help get you through some very tough times. For me, exposing my skeletons was healing and comforting. I sleep better at night knowing a 60 second video on my life helps thousands of people. I know inside it healed me by letting the truth be set free from my soul.

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As victims of domestic violence, we struggle with having a voice. The same questions always being asked without understanding. Why didn’t you leave sooner? I would have never stuck around, if he did that! If he laid his hands on me the cops would have been called. Well when you LOVE someone it isn’t that easy. In fact it’s embarrassing, and when we trust you enough to tell you, it hurts at the time to answer them. Today, I can answer each question without batting an eyelash. That also took years to achieve and tons of therapy.

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So after that video I decided to stand up tall and strong for others that face and endure the pain that I did. I will also be a beacon of Hope for them as they need to know there is a light after darkness, even if it’s just a glimmer. It is what kept me going along with the knowledge and the unconditional loved received by my son. So, as my life becomes more known around the World, I hope it’s for inspiration. That this adorably goofy warrior brings light in the midst of darkness and a spark of hope to whomever needs it.

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When Life Gives You Lemons

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One thing I’ve learned in 2020…. Is when life gives you lemons, you add sugar, stir, and make lemonade. That is exactly what I did and I hope this message helps you.

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I started off this year like the rest. Anxiety and Depression and we don’t know what’s going to happen… Let’s be real, I am stuck in an apartment with my eight year old, and I can’t work. My own son was getting hit with depression and I felt like a failure as a mother. I knew I had to pull through for us. I was reading one night about children and depression. I realized that he was watching me and my emotions were all over the floor. So I decided to chase this little dream of mine.

My dream has always been to write. I by far am not the best. But I try, and that is what I want my son to learn. Chase your dreams even if you fail at times. Through this writing journey, I actually got a book deal. Dreame, an online book app, decided to take me on as a writer. I almost peed my pants when the editor reached out. When I signed my contract, I was jumping in joy, and a little boy was watching me. I shocked myself with my own potential.

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Now, during this time I had many sleepless nights and early mornings. I cried because my grammar was awful and self doubt would attack. Slowly my son would turn his head from whatever he was doing and say, “Mom you can do this, it’s your dream!” my sweet little reminder I needed. I pushed forward, and slowly my depression was lifting. Dreame made my dreams come true and it is paying off. I get to be an Author of a book, –The Mermaid in Me. The thing about living with depression is you never know when it will creep up again.

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As the numbers of Covid-19 cases rose. I again began to feel the tug of depression knowing we were going into a dark winter. I also knew if I didn’t do something, I was going to hit rock bottom, a place I’ve seen many times before. I decided to enter every contest I could, social media wise. I mean I did have to learn how to self market when I did hair, and now being stuck behind the computer. It kinda gives me an advantage. I just needed the support. So, I started asking my friends for help. Just simple things like share this and that.

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It became a side hustle that not a soul knew, it was saving me from my own depression. I really started getting into contests, because I was winning. My son’s attitude was changing as he was smiling more, and helping me out. We have bonded more than ever in this time of uncertainty. We even entered a contest for Tik Tok. I don’t know how well we will do, but we try. It’s fun in the making that actually counts for me. His laugh is worth it. My heart needed to hear his laughter to keep moving forward. He doesn’t understand my health nor do I want him too. That depression and anxiety I wouldn’t be able to fix. He doesn’t need that weight on his shoulders. So, I keep that to myself, he sees me sick, but I keep going. That’s what we should do as parents.

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If I can teach my son and many others one thing, it’s to keep pushing forward. Even if you look silly, just try your best. Silly is actually so refreshing. I know I look silly in my town. I know I’m the girl that not many people understand. But I also know, I have a wonderful support system who has watched me fall many times and get back up stronger than ever. So never lose hope, and if life is throwing lemons at you… Take the lemons and have fun with it! You never know when the lemons will go bad.

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Our City Cries

I wanted to write about other things, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the cries I hear from the streets of my City. I like most, are watching what’s happening in America from FB and the News Stations, which is super confusing. It hits home when you see it in real life and that is why I’m writing about this, Gun Violence… I see the pain, I see the hurt, I hear the pleas and the cries. I hear you loud and clear St. Joseph County!

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It started for me the second week of July. I started hearing guns going off at night, most of them being Saturday night into Sunday Morning. Some may have said they heard fireworks, I can say I heard and know differently. I also started talking to neighbors about certain people coming and going, vehicles that were becoming torn up, and people hiding. I have son and when things get close to home, I become a Momma Bear. It’s not that I was ignoring the gun violence around the world, but sometimes we turn the other cheek if it doesn’t pertain to us. I had my cheek turned to America and I admit that, until it hit home and right smack in my face.

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I was hit with the reality that gun violence was surrounding me at the worst time in America. The police are ALL being considered bad and no one wants to snitch on someone. That’s got to stop!! With every good person there will be a bad one, this is pretty obvious on any spectrum. When the St. Joseph County Police made a live stream press conference asking for help, I sat and listened. They announce that eighty some shots were fired one particular Sunday morning and only three people were hits. I know exactly how I worded that “Only”. But that “Only” meant that there were stray bullets in homes and on the streets that could potentially hurt an innocent bystander. I knew I had to do something because I had information. So I decided to take a huge step, I decided to do my Civic Duty. Yes, you heard me! I’m doing my civic duty as an American and a Humanitarian, to help my fellow citizens stop the gun violence on our streets. I became a help to the police and to the streets. I started looking after the children, talking with the young adults in my neighborhood, and asking questions to find the answers. What I found was confusion and pain. Pain being the predominant factor and misunderstanding of life being the second.

A great reminder for life

What hurt the most for me is when I knew I did my job and not less than a month later an innocent child was killed by a drive-by shooting. Her beautiful name is Chrisyah Stephens and all she was doing was being a happy child at a birthday party. I fell apart that day, I called my people and I asked if anything I was doing was helping. Of course I found out I was actually helping a few Police Departments for my community, but it didn’t save that little girls life.

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I watch my neighborhood clear out every weekend and they all back in their cars on Sunday morning. No one wants their plates shown. I’m not paid to police but it is my civic duty to help when I know I can. I am disgusted that even after that poor child died, not a soul came forward. Money is even being offered for the arrest and that hasn’t helped yet. I still pray every night someone will come forward with information, just like I did in other incidents.

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Am I scared of the repercussions of working with my community Police Officers? No, I was held at gun point many moons ago, death doesn’t scare me. Loosing my child scares me more than anything. When bullets get closer to home, I protect not just my family but others. And I don’t mean with a gun, kindness and understanding goes along way. I know fear and I have faced it many times head on, literally a gun to the back of my head. I wish I could say that didn’t really happen, but it did. And I replay it more these days in my head because the gun violence is outrageous, it takes aim at my PTSD. Fight or Flight mode comes out naturally and for the last two months, I have secretly been fighting for it to stop. It’s not in my head it’s real life and I want more people to stand up with me, to help protect Our City that is Crying in Pain.

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We don’t need and eye for an eye, we need voices that are willing to speak up about what they see. We must be done with the old ways of not snitching, and we must must speak up to save more innocent lives. One life lost is too many for me and our community is at a high in gun violence. We must embrace the fact that America is in pain, but we must move on in Love. If we want to put an end to this, it’s starts in each one of our souls. We must stop turning our cheek to this. So many conflicts of interests but can’t we agree on one thing?! Gun Violence is at an extreme and we must put an end to it! If you want to help there are resources and you don’t have to be known.

One of the commercials that was stuck in head when I was a kid was Crime Stoppers and it’s still around. So if you don’t want to be involved with police it’s the other best option. We need to lay our heads down at night and not wake up to another death in our city due to guns. If any information leads to an arrest you do get money! Who doesn’t need money right now and your saving a life? Help your Community out and SAVE a innocent person!

Crime Stoppers can help you at 1-800-342-STOP or http://southbend.crimestoppersweb.com/sitemenu.aspx?ID=203&

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White Picket Fence

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I never thought I’d be writing about my dating life, but I think it will help give some insight into what might help the next person and that is Self-love. Something that No-one can give you, that only you have the power to create. It’s taken me, numerous amounts of years of trying, falling, and standing back up to get to the point I feel confident enough in myself to share some stories about us, “Broken Girls”.

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I won’t accept I’m broken anymore, in fact I feel more Empowered than I ever have been. I have you shocked I know, how can she speak about being broken and empowerment in the same sentence?!? Well you have to be knocked down to know how to stand backup. I watched my son do it until he started to walk. He cried a lot but it didn’t stop him, now I can’t slow him down. That’s when I really starting learning about who I am and what I wanted my life to be. I had a two year old and I knew I couldn’t be in my marriage anymore, so I went through with a huge jump into the unknown, I was broken, I wanted to save everyone but myself, and I did. I did it at a very high cost, my sanity to say the least. Let’s backtrack on why I never saved myself.

I grew up with a crazy childhood, I relate it to the “White Picket Fence” analogy. See I grew up knowing more than kids should, saw things I would never want my son to see. We as parents, I’ve learned though, don’t always have control in that either…. Kids don’t understand that, it’s complicated. So we hide behind a White Picket Fence, we have a dysfunctional home life but a pretty white fence making us look like the Jones’s, whoever they are, I hear they are perfect. I felt the need as a kid to be a leader, a protector to my siblings, well I am one of the oldest and I wouldn’t say I was the best at it, it wasn’t my job but I took it on. I took it on till I was in high school and met this amazing guy at the time. He was older, he saw the tears in me hiding behind the smiles, heard the words, and accepted I needed to escape the life I was living and yes, that was my senior year of High School. The year everyone looks forward to college, I begged quietly for an escape from my home life. I worked and went to school, and moved out with my high school sweetheart. That cost was just trading one white fence for another.

I spent many years being who ever I needed to be to succeed. I was a people pleaser, so I worked hard, made everyone happy and lost the person I was, or thought I was. I married the man that saved me. It got tricky, see… abuse happened, and a lot of tears and joy. I had my child, that changed me forever. Reality and years of suppressed emotions made it difficult to be the best version of myself, whoever that person was. I was a very toxic person, raising a new born with a broken heart and fear. I just wanted a new life and to escape the reality of what I was living, which was a remake of my worst fears as a mother, repeating my past. It was somewhere deep inside of me needing to be free, because I knew this was my chance. I took it and ran as fast as I could with a baby.

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I can’t say it is easy or that I just got woke up one day and felt so Empowered. Actually it took me many years to find who my true authentic self is, and the only way I found her was to stop and listen to the little girl inside of me screaming and crying. She was a sad neglected little girl, and I sat with her. Her tears were flowing like rivers and all she wanted was to feel safe. I cuddled that little girl inside of me. I told her she was safe, that I was proud of her and all she had gotten through. That she had made it this far and how amazed I was going to be at the person she would grow into. Crazy right!! I know what you’re thinking, Am I talking about myself in third person? Well, yes I am, I’m talking to my inner child that needed to hear what I was telling her. She needed to finally know she was worthy of being herself. I told her that I was proud, that even though she felt alone she wasn’t, she had walked a very rough path but it was my turn to take over. The Adult me! I sat with her for a long time, listening to her sorrows and reassuring her that the past was going to stay there. That the person she was, wasn’t a scared little girl and that I needed her to accept that we made me it safely and it was time for her to go back peacefully knowing that the adult me had this. I gave my inner child a beautiful hug and watched her walk into the sea, to be let free. That day in the doctors chair changed my life FOREVER. I had a weight lifted off my shoulders. Something in me felt better, more safe and secure. That was the doctors point, he and I succeeded at helping that little girl that needed reassurance to go home.

I put my inner child to rest and starting working on who this mother was, and what she wanted her beautiful prince to see and know. I wanted him to know kindness, so I showed him kindness along with everyone I met. I want to be a woman that would represent everything feminine but strong and masculine, I do believe my prince sees that day in and day out from me. I want him to know that, the world may be ever changing but I will always be here for him, as sturdy as a rock. That beauty is only with the beholder, don’t ever worry about what others may say or think, especially if your moral compass is in the right direction. With all that I wanted to show him and am in the process of doing, I am growing into this beautiful woman with her own opinions and no fear if people don’t accept her or not. I healed that part of me, the need to want approval from strangers, when I know morally what is right from wrong. I have seen the worst so I can see the best. I stopped hiding behind the White Picket Fence. It’s in our Mindset and that is Empowerment. That is Self-Love.

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I definitely had my fair share of guys that used and abused me during my healing and I still may attract them at times, it isn’t their fault, I was seeking instead of searching in me, and I still catch myself at times. I had fun, I won’t deny that. I got to explore the dating world and all different versions of guys that would help change the view on men and what I wanted in my next relationship for myself. I knew what I could give myself without a man, so I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror one day and said, “You got this you Beautiful Child.” And I haven’t looked back.

My life has in return become more blessed, more loving, truly inspirational when I look back at where I started, to where I’m at now. I will always be on this journey, because it’s easy to get astray but with the right tools and accepting it’s time to sit down and really dig deep when I feel lost, I can achieve anything. I love myself enough to know I have the Power and I’m not broken. See “Broken Girls” aren’t actually broken, they are lost and guarded. And they actually just need to be appreciated for their beauty and who they truly are, they need to be heard. I’m smart, beautiful, goofy, with a side of Sass! I’m just a woman who loves herself enough to be a positive influence even when I know the reality of the world sucks at times. I am the beautiful creature that God created, not perfect, just an amazingly perfect human being, flaws and all. That is Self-Love, accepting the you and being able to fall and get back up and say, “That’s all you got life, cause I got a better shot than that, let me show you!”

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I hope this Empowers anyone who feels broken or doesn’t see the light of Self-Love and how you can get there. Not overnight, but in time and it will be a beautiful disaster and that’s ok, because once you get that taste you won’t settle for anything less in life, especially in yourself. So stop hiding behind that Fence and enjoy the person you truly are, it’s magical and empowering!

What is a Virtual Stylist

Well Hello to all my Sweets!!  

If by chance you don’t know me, I’m Dr.Mermaid and I’ve been in the beauty industry behind the chair for over 10 years now. I am taking a huge leap of faith on many things but this one is near and dear to my heart, I want to be a Virtual Stylist.  I know I have you all have been stumped on what a Virtual Stylist is…. 

Well, let me explain it to you in some brief details, I’m not working and I miss the beauty industry. I was lucky enough to chat with the CEO from BeautyTap and he has showed me some ins and outs to the beauty industry and how we can help our community without being behind the chair. So here I am explaining what’s to come.  

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I am collaborating with some of the BEST Hairstylist’s in our area to meet your needs. It’s like a personal match maker but with your hair. I’m sure many get that anxious feeling in our belly, when we sit down with a new stylist in a new salon and we don’t know what to expect. I know my clients always would say by the end of our time together, that I relieved their worries. We all have different personalities, price ranges, and environments we expect from a salon. Thankfully I have worked in a few salons and know what is ideal for certain people, so I can help you pick the right stylist for your personality and wants. I have the pleasure of working with amazing stylist’s who are joining me in on this adventure. This even makes it easier on making a choice, we’ve all seen the posts on FB where people are looking for recommendations on a Salon or Stylist and 5 Million people respond with different places, it’s all just different opinions and stylists trying to snag the next person, major chaos! You have been given too many choices and have to pick a random, and then you pray for the best. Well not any longer I cut out the work with one simple message on FB. I become the professional beauty reviewer, so I can give accurate information to people about the Salons and Stylists in our community. I will also be spotlighting a Stylist/Barber and/or Salon each month.

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Educating on beauty products is also a must. You need to know what you’re buying for your hair and skin and not because that’s what the stylist sells in the Salon and will get credit for. I will actually help inform you of the products to buy and where to get them, to achieve the looks and goals of your hair and skin. And I’m not getting in on the cut, just the satisfaction of helping people out, inspiring people with maintaining self care. Which is not to hinder your experience in the salon but to help when you can’t get into the salon. Just because you are stuck at home doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to feel good about yourself. I will teach you about sulfates, color protectants and the difference between hydrating and moisturizing (they aren’t the same). These are the things I am certified in, the geeky chemistry of hair and what it needs. Also the resources to get the products in your hands or the right people.

Virtual Styling Classes are a must. We got the time lets sit down together and learn some simple easy styles that you can do on your own. Maybe you have children and don’t know how to braid, or can’t get your sons clipper cut to look good. Or even what the hot tools are supposed to achieve. I can help with some tips and tricks of the trade. We make a time to connect and I show you how to do these simple things that us Professionals already know!! As stylist’s we forget to educate on the at home care, we make them look so wonderful in our chair but they get home and can’t recreate a thing. That’s where I help you with the tools you own and how you work them to your advantage. So many clients over the years have said they own a flat iron but don’t know how to use it, or the messy waves that are so in trend that they just can’t get right with any tool, that I can help you recreate with just a curling iron. Why there are different sizes to the irons and what tools are best for what you want to do with your hair, that is where I can help. The possibilities are endless when you have someone willing to teach you.

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You also get ME helping you succeed in this crazy life, whether it be helping find a stylist, educating on products, showing you tricks or even just answering your questions, that’s what my purpose is at this time for the Beauty Industry. I’m sure you’re wondering what I get out of this….Pure pleasure in knowing I’m still helping people look and feel good about themselves. While staying safe and helping endorse some of our finest Stylists, Barbers, and Salons in the Community. So lets enjoy this ride together! I’M EXCITED and I hope you are too! Virtual Beauty Help to the Rescue!!!

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The Gamer Generation

Before I had my child, like many other new soon-to-be Mom’s we say, “OH, I’ll never let my child have screen time, they will not be on electronics!” Big Fat, HA!!!! I realized one thing quick as a single mom. I needed the screen time for my sanity and so I could actually get stuff done. I’m not kidding, I couldn’t hire a maid or a babysitter, I was lucky to even walk out of the room without a cry. So it started with Baby Einstein and that to lead into tablet time, then more electronics as the years progressed. Mind you, I still read him books, taught him his numbers, letters and we still played outside like I did as a kid. Well enough to start Pre-K with an advantage in his education. I don’t take much responsibility for that, he is just really smart, (Like I’m kind of scared as a parent) “Smart”.

As technology gets more advanced in the world, so does his knowledge and curiosity. He started off slow and then amazed me with his talent behind the computer and in games. I thought it would be a great idea to send him to a STEM camp last summer which taught him all about computers and coding, I don’t even know about coding myself, but he can build a robot and make it do tricks. I knew then, he wasn’t going to be the athletic type. Crazy for an 8 year old in my opinion, but times have changed and they are continuing to change fast. The schools went virtual due to the Pandemic and so even more screen time for our kids. Which results in teaching hours in front of a screen. So there is absolutely no choice in whether or not you want your child at any age to have screen time, it is a must not a choice, especially if we want them educated at this time.

My son has been begging me to start his own YouTube Station to play video games. He watches adults and children play and he wants to do it. Being the Mom I am, I won’t stop him from a goal, but I won’t just let him go and do whatever he see’s fit. So I made a deal with him, we learn everything that goes on behind the scenes on making videos including him doing it himself. I’m not pushing my kid to be a YouTube Star, but I will teach him the ropes if this is truly a goal of his. I firmly believe that we can do anything we want as long as we are willing to put in the work. So I am teaching him the ropes of recording and editing. I don’t even know everything so it’s an adventure for both of us. It’s actually brought us together in a really fun way.

He didn’t realize there are green screens, lighting, editing, prompters, even music overlay, having the right equipment and apps that we would invest in. He was shocked, and I loved it. Honestly, how would know he when all he see’s is these amazing kids with awesome shows or gaming channels, in huge houses. I’m even impressed, which is why he needs to know the truth. The truth that many kids his age don’t know. The kids that do, are the ones making the channels, their parents are helping if not doing all the work for them on the screen and behind the scenes, well that’s not me. This is a goal of his, and it will not come easy, this will take hard work and motivation. We will fail many times but if we continue moving forward and keeping an open mind to new ideas, we can be successful. We must invest in ourselves and to always continue to learn.

I always dislike using this line but it is fitting, “Back in My Day…” Well it’s true when I was a child we didn’t have all this technology. I was the first generation to have: computers, (Oregon Trail, WHOOP, WHOOP) Video game consoles, DVD’s, pagers, then in high school, some of us got the first batches of cellphones. I was lucky, I had a job, so I was able to get a pay by the minute track phone, Oh, I was cool. NOT!!! Under the rules that I was to continue to get good grades, pay for my own phone bill, which meant I had to work hard to pay the extra bill for a want and not a need. My mom did it right though she taught me, if I wanted something, I wasn’t just going to get it because everyone else had it or was doing it. I would have to work hard and be responsible to get my wants. Which taught me work ethic and the value of our wants. I couldn’t understand then what she was doing, as I type this today I completely understand what she was doing and that was teaching me something I needed to be a successful adult.

Which is why I am doing that with my son. He may have more electronics than I did at that age, and screen time isn’t even a discussion since this is how my son is going to be starting 3rd grade. But if he wants something, like a gaming channel, I’m gonna teach him the work ethic behind it, even if he’s 8 years old. So to reach any goal just like I was taught, you have to keep up on responsibilities, you have to learn, invest in yourself, and you have to fail at times to get back up. In my core, I believe he can do this. Even if after all this work behind the scenes, he doesn’t want to put in the effort and continue on, he still learned and at the end of the day, I’m supporting his goals, and my job is to get him ready to be a responsible, educated adult and to differentiate between wants, needs, and the reality of it all.

My Reality of 2020

In March of 2020 America changed for everyone, we were put on lock down. I never expected to be sitting here today writing instead of doing my job. I’m a professional hairstylist, that has worked my butt off to get where I was at, before March. I had saved enough money to move out of my small two bedroom apartment with my son and actually live in a house. Yes, I know I’m blessed, but I have Dreams. That was a goal of mine that I had set in 2019. 2020 did a huge plot twist on so many people. The world went into a Pandemic with a highly contagious virus that is still unresolved. And half of America believes it’s a political scam, so they won’t follow simple guidelines.

I’m one of the percentages, even for my age; that was in the too high risk for complications due to Covid-19, when America opened back up. My health was never a super big complication of my life, I lived with it. Yes, I know I have a very poor immune system, I have many doctors, had many hospital visits, more than most 35 year old’s. I have pushed through every sickness, surgery, medication, and fatigue to be the best mom to my son, an employee, and hairstylist. I have also put in many hours in helping out people, whether it be volunteering my time, my skills, my driving, and even donating, because I’m a giver by nature. But…. How far can that go on as I take care of everyone but myself. Well REALITY CHECK!! This “little” Pandemic stopped me and made me realize some of my biggest fears, my toxic traits, and how I can be a better version of myself.

With all this time on my hands, I had to reflect on myself. I realized some truths about myself and others. Change can mess with people, good and bad, it’s which way you want to handle it. I want to handle it like I know how to, that’s through Knowledge, Compassion, Creativity, and Love. I had to announce that I wasn’t going back to work because of my health being a concern in the uncertainty of the world, being this isn’t just America, this is Global. I was not scared of the Virus as much as I was of the backlash of my clients, to the point I had a speech I had wrote and talked to my therapist about it. He warned me of the consequences of the truths. See I don’t want a pity party from people so I don’t tell everyone all my issues, that’s why they made HIPPA it’s my choice, and I have a therapist and many intelligent doctors keeping me going strong who all know my truths.

I received the backlash and the hate, I knew would be coming but just not from some people. I learned who is by my side to protect me and who is only selfishly trying get what they want. Believe me, I am extremely hard on myself for stepping back from behind the chair, but in my heart I knew I had to do it for my son. I want to see him grow into the handsome man that I am raising. I want him to tell me to “Stop embarrassing him”, I never want to miss his first dance or his graduation, the day he tells me he’s getting married. I want to hold my grandchild and look at my legacy I helped create, these are the moments that I want. And I know my son wants these too.

He sadly see’s the pain, the sickness, the fatigue, the medications, the doctors first hand. I never wanted that for my son but I can’t help it. He’s getting older, he askes why I’m sick, how he can help? He leaves me Get Well Cards. I fight hard for him so I do everything asked, and I try to help reassure him, I’m not going anywhere, because God created us to be a family and he’s stuck with me. I disappointed the people I thought were by my side. I gave them resources, I did everything I could, but because I choose my health and my son during a Pandemic, I lost people I thought were my friends.

His Adorable Get Well Card

What I do understand is, I tell them I love them and wish them well. I don’t wish my life on anyone, it’s mine and I own it flaws and all. I’m here to make a difference whether it be behind the chair or behind a computer, you won’t hold me back, that’s the beauty of having Knowledge, Compassion, Love, Creativity and being a Daughter of God. He blesses us in so many ways, you just have to look for them. With every person that has walked away during this time another has stepped up and helped me without even being asked. That is a blessing!

Hence why I picked up this amazing writing adventure, I joined a Writing Academy to really learn more. I have chosen to open up myself to the world, to take a risk, I could never do before. I didn’t have time, I had an excuse, so I just kept journaling away my life till now. This is my opportunity to take a Dream and make it reality. Will it be easy? NO! Will I have to learn so much more? YES!! Will I succeed? YES!! Do you know why? Because I have never let anything stop me and I learned many years ago “The only thing constant is change”.

I’m still hurt and hoping I’ll be back behind the chair someday soon, because I do love it and it’s still a passion for me but for now; I am embracing the reality of the world and the fact that I and many others are having to hangout while America runs it’s course. I won’t apologize anymore, I’m going to protect my son and I as best as possible and get us both through this uncertain time. Because he looks up to me for answers and it’s my job, to make sure he has them, and to be his rock on this Earth.

To the people who are disappointed, upset and have backed away loudly and/or quietly, Thank you, I realized that the only thing that matters is, me believing in myself. After years of abuse and then even more years of therapy, I can say I am slowly believing in my own personal potential. Am I there all the way? NO!! Will I get there? YES!! It takes practice and the fact that not everyone will be accepting of my choices and that’s ok.