One thing I’ve learned in 2020…. Is when life gives you lemons, you add sugar, stir, and make lemonade. That is exactly what I did and I hope this message helps you.
I started off this year like the rest. Anxiety and Depression and we don’t know what’s going to happen… Let’s be real, I am stuck in an apartment with my eight year old, and I can’t work. My own son was getting hit with depression and I felt like a failure as a mother. I knew I had to pull through for us. I was reading one night about children and depression. I realized that he was watching me and my emotions were all over the floor. So I decided to chase this little dream of mine.
My dream has always been to write. I by far am not the best. But I try, and that is what I want my son to learn. Chase your dreams even if you fail at times. Through this writing journey, I actually got a book deal. Dreame, an online book app, decided to take me on as a writer. I almost peed my pants when the editor reached out. When I signed my contract, I was jumping in joy, and a little boy was watching me. I shocked myself with my own potential.
Now, during this time I had many sleepless nights and early mornings. I cried because my grammar was awful and self doubt would attack. Slowly my son would turn his head from whatever he was doing and say, “Mom you can do this, it’s your dream!” my sweet little reminder I needed. I pushed forward, and slowly my depression was lifting. Dreame made my dreams come true and it is paying off. I get to be an Author of a book, –The Mermaid in Me. The thing about living with depression is you never know when it will creep up again.
As the numbers of Covid-19 cases rose. I again began to feel the tug of depression knowing we were going into a dark winter. I also knew if I didn’t do something, I was going to hit rock bottom, a place I’ve seen many times before. I decided to enter every contest I could, social media wise. I mean I did have to learn how to self market when I did hair, and now being stuck behind the computer. It kinda gives me an advantage. I just needed the support. So, I started asking my friends for help. Just simple things like share this and that.
It became a side hustle that not a soul knew, it was saving me from my own depression. I really started getting into contests, because I was winning. My son’s attitude was changing as he was smiling more, and helping me out. We have bonded more than ever in this time of uncertainty. We even entered a contest for Tik Tok. I don’t know how well we will do, but we try. It’s fun in the making that actually counts for me. His laugh is worth it. My heart needed to hear his laughter to keep moving forward. He doesn’t understand my health nor do I want him too. That depression and anxiety I wouldn’t be able to fix. He doesn’t need that weight on his shoulders. So, I keep that to myself, he sees me sick, but I keep going. That’s what we should do as parents.
If I can teach my son and many others one thing, it’s to keep pushing forward. Even if you look silly, just try your best. Silly is actually so refreshing. I know I look silly in my town. I know I’m the girl that not many people understand. But I also know, I have a wonderful support system who has watched me fall many times and get back up stronger than ever. So never lose hope, and if life is throwing lemons at you… Take the lemons and have fun with it! You never know when the lemons will go bad.